Oneness // Thoughts on Marriage

This is a daunting post to write.  Because I have so many thoughts.  So many strong opinions.  It's such a broad topic.  But, I'm a champion for marriage.  I also feel like marriage gets a bad rap.  It's silly that until now I haven't felt a right to touch on this subject (I also haven't had a platform to write so publicly and freely either so it's not been something that eats at me.)  James and I have been together for 11 years, and married for 6.  11 years of oneness, love, home, evolution, understanding, intention, and commitment.  We've experienced our relationship and now marriage in such a positive light because we are intentional about the way we approach it and always have been.  We continue to hold a place of respect for each other.  We continue to love spending time together.  We continue to choose each other.  But each part is about being intentional.  Before getting engaged and married I always held those people outside the institute of marriage, yet in long term relationships, with such high regard.  Because unconfined by legal status they were making a choice daily to be together, and always seemed happier because of it.  And lots of the married people who were freely doling out advice talked about how challenging marriage is.  How many ups and downs they had faced throughout the years.  If we are truthful, the majority of stories or accounts on marriage make it out to be such an uphill journey.  A journey that's full of dirty socks not getting put into the hamper,  not always feeling passion through the daily grind, nagging, and an over time lack lustre.  That's one of the reasons James and I dated for 5 years before deciding to have a wedding and commit ourselves to marriage.  I always wanted to want to be together.  I wanted to be happy and continue to like each other.  I wanted to remain us and not let marriage taint that.  (I will add that we both waited to get married until we were completely sure both individually and together it was something we truly wanted.)  So we entered in intentionally, and I'm proud to say we continue to be intentional about our love, daily life, partnership, and marriage.  I feel proud of the life we've created together.  I feel grateful to get to make the choice daily to be in partnership with someone I love beyond measure and thankful that he does the same and chooses me each day.  I'm glad to get to experience our relationship within the context of marriage because for us it has created a beautiful foundation and security within which we both feel supported and free to build, evolve and grow.  We are both much better, more confident, empowered and evolved versions of who we were 11 years ago, 6 years ago, and even last year.  And with that comes a sense of hope and confidence that marriage is wonderful and positive and intentional.  If it's become something so sacred and beautiful in the last decade, imagine what it has the potential to become in the  (hopefully many more) decades to come. 

Photo from our wedding day 6 years ago tomorrow || PC: Elyse Bouvier